I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
