Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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