The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
