We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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