your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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