Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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