Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And then my night got REAL pukey
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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