singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
