oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
