He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
