apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
