I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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