how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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