if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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