She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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