So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
NoShamevember. You game?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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