I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
