'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
