hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
