4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
