I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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