I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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