well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
