I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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