Soap is not a condiment
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
