i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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