I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
