if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
