I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
