Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
