So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
