I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
