Farmville is her only friend.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
