Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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