You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
