I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
