1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Randomize
