The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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