ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
