I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
