It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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