would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
