There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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