if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
In America we eat man semen.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have already put on my inside pants.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
