You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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