He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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