i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
