this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
