i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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