I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
