Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
