Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
